we lose ourselves many times in this life. during puberty when we bury the voice of our inner child to transition into adult life, maybe the first time we lose a “forever” friend, or perhaps even the first time we experience heartbreak and have to find our way back to ourselves.

i get lonely...a lot, but never lonely enough to travel back to my past and ponder the question “what could have been?”. in the past few months, i’ve developed a few healthy habits like:

the past two months have been dedicated to mending my own heart, and it feels like all of the pieces that i have broken throughout the years have finally come back together.

recently, i’ve found comfort in complete solitude. i’ve taken an intense liking to myself. in my leisure time, i gather my (handwritten) journal, my wallet, the pen nearest to me and toss it in a small bag and head out the door.

the days have been better so i thank god for the moments that he shows me that this life is worth living. i’ve had a few highs this past month.

*small letters i write myself before i go to sleep*

what do you do when the noise around you is so loud? threatening to overcome the quietness you have discovered in newfound self-peace, self-worth, and sanity?

i can’t help but wonder if god’s been making my heart hurt daily because of how often i recite the prayer by warsan shire.

generic but necessary gentle reminders:

barely three weeks into the new year, and i am disappointed to admit that i have been back on my bullshit. watering dead plants by carrying over relationships that died lifetimes ago into a new year, bringing in self-pity and self-doubt, and continuously basking in mediocrity.

day 365/365, alhamdulillah because a young nigga made it.